What Being A Living Donor Entails

It dawned on me today that for months now we have been asking people to come forward as living donors without fully explaining what this means. There are some organs which can be donated by people while still alive; Most know that, because we have two kidneys, we can donate a kidney while still alive. What is not as well known is that the liver can be donated while still alive as well. Unlike many organs, the entirety of the liver exists to serve the same tasks. There is a natural "split" in the liver, forming two lobes with an approximately 60%/40% split. Liver surgery takes several hours. The donor gives the 60% lobe to the recipient. The liver is an absolutely incredible organ; Although a substantial piece is taken from the donor, as healing begins and continues, both lobes will regenerate into a full liver in both donor and recipient. The recovery takes 6-8 weeks. To even qualify, a donor must be under age 60, the right blood type (any O blood in my Mom's case), and in good health. (Side note: If anybody wonders why a relative is not stepping forward to help, I am the only relative who is young enough with the right blood type, but because I have a chronic illness, the transplant team will not consider me). It is surprisingly difficult to find somebody meeting these criteria, but there are plenty of people out there--people reading this--who do! On this subject, I do not wish to discourage anybody from contacting the transplant team if they do not think they are in good enough health; PLEASE, if you are interested in donating but think you are not in good enough shape, contact the team to confirm. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. If you are interested and a viable candidate after all, you could be the one capable of saving my Mom's life.  When I tell people in person about the need for a living donor, the biggest question I tend to get in response is, "Well, is she on the list?" Yes, my Mom is on the transplant list. However, as you can imagine this far from guarantees us an organ from a cadaver donor. I am often asked about mom's "place" on the list. Fact is, we don't know; There is nobody with the authority or knowledge to definitively say that Mom will be the recipient of the next available viable cadaver liver. The organ transplant list is fluid. There are FAR more people in need of an organ than there are available cadaver organs (yearly, 17,000 people are in need and only 4,000 are available). To determine who is most in need, a "MELD" score is determined by bloodwork. To even qualify for a cadaver donor, a person's MELD score must be at least 30. My mom's is currently hovering around 30, but it changes based on the procedures done to try and heal Mom to the best of doctors' ability. Doctors have been saying for months--even before her score hit 30--that her score betrayed her health, she is much sicker than it lets on, and that by the time she qualifies for a cadaver donor and has one available, she will likely be too weak to survive the operation. THIS is why we are so extremely desperate for a living donor to step forward. So I've told you what the process entails, from requirements to be a living donor to the reasons we cannot bank on getting a cadaver donor for Mom. But there are other things, things doctors aren't obligated to tell you, that the process will entail and the results it will bring. It requires selflessness and courage on behalf of the donor, and courage and a thankful heart on behalf of the recipient. It means that, after a healing period that is so short in light of the devastating months of illness, we will only need to see the inside of the hospital for check-ups following the procedure. It means that Mom, who can only speak at a whisper, will be able to speak again. It means that she will be able to walk again. She will be able to use the bathroom instead of a catheter, and will not require nurses and aides to clean her BMs. She will be able to put weight back on. She will not have dangerous amounts of fluid beneath her skin. Her skin will no longer be paper-thin. She will not have to limit herself to a liter or less of liquid consumed each day. She will not have to worry about almost entirely losing her mind when levels in her blood go askew. She won't have to wait a month for a bruise to heal. She won't be anywhere near as at-risk for infection as she has been, and if she gets one she will be able to recover quicker--in fact, she will be more likely to recover at all. We will not have to worry about the rest of her body getting so tired of compensating for the liver that they shut down. This is just what it means for my mom. For us, finding a living donor means that I won't have to worry about potentially needing to call an ambulance whenever I walk in the house. It means that we won't be commuting an hour each way to New Haven every day, while trying to work and find time for our own mental health. We won't be kept awake at night wondering how much time we have left with her. My brother and I will have years left with the only parent we have left. My grandparents won't lose their only other child. My stepfather won't be a widower. My mom will escape with her life. I have mentioned this before, but I really want to address anyone reading this personally: Stranger or not, you are not just anyone. In this context, you are not just somebody with a healthy liver we want to take. You are a person--one with a heart that beats, compassion, and love to give. One with family and friends who you would make this decision in an instant for. In my family, and in my community, we don't let a good deed go unnoticed; We are grateful to you for even taking the time to read this. We are grateful for the shares on social media, and the thoughts and prayers being sent our way. We are grateful for those who have already stepped forward to be tested, even though we have no matches as of yet. We are hopeful that someday soon we will have somebody who is both willing to donate and a match. PLEASE--we are all begging--make the sacrifice you would make for a friend, and help us to keep a beautiful soul on this earth. We are running out of time, and we are running out of options.