"Stepping" Forward

With how very sick Mom has been, I have been pretty convinced she would stay in the hospital until she receives a new liver. I am happy to say I was wrong. Mom needs some very intense therapy right now (acute therapy)--physical, occupational, and speech. Her various infections over the last two months have made it difficult to move her from Yale to a rehabilitation facility. We ran back and forth between our options for rehab, and although we would love to have Mom closer to home than New Haven, we opted to put her in Milford Hospital because of its proximity to Yale (should she need another sudden trip there). Milford Hospital rents a floor to Yale's acute rehab center, so Yale's staff is working closely with Mom to get her stronger. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- About the surgery itself: We would think that the sicker and weaker Mom is, the better her chance for a liver, especially now that she is not a candidate for a living donor. She is still, and will remain until receiving a liver, extremely ill. However, rehab is aiming to make her stronger--Strong enough to walk, do normal day-to-day tasks, and to handle herself fairly normally. Until she is strong enough, she will not be able to receive a liver. Once she is strong enough, she becomes a high priority for a liver. Unfortunately, the doctors will not be able to tell us exactly how high a priority she is. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mom has been bedridden for the better part of two months. It has been very difficult for us as her family to watch, and it has been perhaps even more frustrating to my adamantly independent Mom. She has not been able to wear clothes. She has wanted desperately to get out of bed, but when they get her out of bed and into a chair, there is fear. Even when there are two nurses stabilizing her, to watch her face and hear her cry while on her feet is a terrible thing. She has not taken any steps (even with help) because her body swelling has made putting pressure on her feet a risk. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Yale is one of the best hospitals in the world, and they take good care of her overall. In her month-plus at Yale, however, short staffing has been a blatant reality. Mom has cried that they did not take care of her at Yale. I try to have sympathy for the nurses and aides being pulled in a million directions at once, but admit that it is hard to know Mom is sitting in her own excrements for an hour before someone comes. It is hard knowing that someone may or may not come in time for what she needs when she pushes the call button, and it is hard knowing that through no fault of their own these nurses simply cannot be everywhere they need to be at once--especially with my Mom. Not being taken proper care of at all times has made my mom feel pretty dehumanized. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Now that Mom is in Yale's rehab, I am SO unbelievably grateful for the change in environment and care. It is a smaller hospital with more staff than Yale's New Haven campus. When Mom presses her help button, the staff responds and helps her. They have expertise in exactly what she needs. They are sure to turn her every two hours, set goals to have her be more comfortable out of bed, and do everything in their power to ensure Mom is eating even when she does not feel like she can. She is going to be exhausted, because she will be in three hours of therapies every day, but she is so excited for the increased strength and independence it will bring. Mom is in clothes instead of a hospital gown. She is still on contact precaution, so we must wear gowns and gloves while in her room, and she must wear them while outside the room, but this is a small price to pay for the care she is receiving. She is able to handle wearing a necklace with the wedding ring that no longer fits (as I write this she just lifted her ring and kissed it). She is snuggling with a Grover doll and appears as comfortable as she can be given the circumstances.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- But most importantly.......SHE IS MOVING! Today is her first day, and you bet she is exhausted. Her nurse last night warned her today would be a personal hell as she works harder than she has in awhile. She still appears scared while out of bed, but I have witnessed nothing short of a miracle watching her in her therapies today. Before I arrived, I was told Mom walked TEN FEET! Might not seem like much, but this is ten feet from a bedridden woman after about two months of not walking. I watched her in her second bout of physical therapy not long ago. She was scared, and exhausted, but with very little help at all she stood at a walker by herself. She shuffled herself into a wheelchair, was pushed to a rehab gym, and spent ten minutes on an exercise bike. She even asked twice for her physical therapist to increase the bike's resistance. She has a long way to go--weeks here, minimum--but I am not seeing a woman who feels defeated. I am seeing a woman who is hopeful, determined, and ready to beat this. I am so happy to see her here and doing well, and I am so proud to be her daughter

.